When Timelords Meet Alchemists
by poopertrooper
Summary: Doctor and Amy show up in Amestris, Ed goes WTF? Roy feels threatened, gloves no worky. "Trust me, I'm the Doctor." Rated M for some...suggestive things. Title to be changed ?


_And now I must begin the Doctor Who/ FullMetal Alchemist Crossover that was born only three days ago. This was written by Me and my older, much more experianced, sister. I also call her "My Grammer Nazi" becuase she's always looking over my shoulder when I have my writing out near her, and correcting my crappy spelling! She wanted to see if we could write a collab story on my favorite show and her favorite show, and in fact, she's only watched about 30 episodes, but she seems to know what she's doing, so I play along. So, sit back, and enjoy this collab crossover!_

_..._

_**When Timelords Meet Alchemists**_

_**(That's only a defualt title, I have no idea what she wants it to be!)**_

_**By Chibi Allen Walker The Awsome/ Fireflightpro567(DA)**_

_**Co-wirtten By ZelieManette(DA)**_

_**Chapter One**_

"Why'd the bastard send me back _so _early anyways, Al?" Edward Elric complained as he and his brogher walked down the hallway of Eastern Command Center.

"I'm sure the Colonel has good reason, so don't worry about it, brother," the suit of armor next to him said, clanking as he walked. Edward muttered some obscenity, and started to advance towards his doom. That so-called doom was Colonel Roy Mustang. Roy Mustang was one of Edward's daily, more like monthly, pains in the ass. He was a womanizer, comedian, and the famed Flame Alchemist. But the thing Roy like to do best was either make Ed mad or make hime grossed out. Edward sighed as he opened the door to Roy's office, hoping the worst wouldn't happen.

"Good luck in there, brother," Alphonse said, continuing his walk to the mess hall.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the universe...

"DOCTOR!" Amy Pond yelled. The TARDIS was shaking, slamming both Amy and the Doctor around the control room. The console was lighting up and things that Amy didn't even know what were were spinning madly. The Doctor was trying his best to solved the problem, and got hit in the gut with an out-of -control lever for his trouble. Amy barely missed being knocked unconscious by some part of the TARDIS that had sprung free from its place and straight for her head. After a few more minutes of chaos and madness, the machine came to a shuddering halt. Amy and the Doctor both peeled themselves up off the floor and headed for the door to see where they had just landed.

"Well, hello Fullmetal," Roy greeted the grim-faced Edward as the blond sat down on his nice, leathery couch.

"Hi, Colonel Bastard. How many girls did you end up getting in your pants while I was gone?" Edward smirked.

"None of your business, unless you've gotten a few in _your_ pants also." Ed made a face, and handed him the report of his quest that had taken him maybe four days of putting off to write.

"I already know where you've been and what you've done."

Ed turned to give Roy a freaked-out look, then asked to tell him EXACTLY where he'd been.

"Well, after you left for the train, you rode it all the way to Dublith, had some trouble with the homonculus in a place called The Devil's Nest, Al got kidnapped, you defeated them, the Fuhrer came in, then I called you back," Roy explained nonchalantly.

Suddenly, the two of them could hear an extremely loud rumble from above, and the ceiling broke open. In front of the two alchemists stood a large telephone booth, marked with the words " Police Telephone Free for Use of Public Pull to Open." And then, the door opened slowly...

And out came the Doctor and Amy, coughing and rubbing their various sore body parts. They examined the room in which they had landed for a moment before they realized that there were other beings in the room. While they had done this, Ed and Roy looked on in fascination and shock at the two people who exited the box. Finally, the Doctor, realizing the he and Amy were not alone, turned to face the two of them.

"Hello. I'm the Doctor. Is there any possibility that you could tell me where and when I am? My vehicle appears to have crashed..." The Doctor looked at the remains of the desk upon which his TARDIS rested. "Oh. Very sorry about your desk, by the way."

Roy hadn't noticed his desk until that very moment. He turned slightly to take in the charred and splintered bits of what, up until recently, had been his desk. The desk that held his very, very important science paperwork...compacted under this ridiculous blue telephone box.

"What in the HELL is going on here?" he roared, spitting into the Doctor's face as he did so. "And what the hell kind of a name is 'The Doctor', anyways?" Roy pulled his gloved hand out of his pocket, ready to incinerate the offending blue box. But right when he moved to do it, the Doctor pulled his sonic screwdriver out nonchalantly and waved it at him, de-activating his attack. Edward looked on as this curious event went on, and was even more shocked as he saw his commander's alchemy not working! _It must be that thingy that The Doctor has! _Why would this man be riding in a telephone booth? Did he come from the other side of the Gate, _alive_? And how'd he get this redhead across with him?

"WHAT? MY GLOOOVVEESS? You cursed 'Doctor!'" Roy yelled, though Ed thought it sounded like whining to him.

Mustang snapped his fingers once more, but the 'Doctor' de-activated the attack again! Mustang was bewildered and beginng to feel highly upset. First, his desk, and now his gloves! Today was just not his day...

"Um...Doctor...Somehow I don't think this is going to be a very friendly planet or whatever it is...I mean, after all, one of the inhabitants is already trying to snap his fingers and make us disappear or something..." Amy trailed off. The one with the dark hair was giving her a murderous look at this point.

"He's not trying to make you 'disappear', he's trying to set your spaceship or whatever on fire. That's what he does. He's a Flame Alchemist." Ed chuckled.

"Alchemy, eh? Vaguely familiar with that...remind me, I forgot the specifics." the Doctor mumbled.

"Yeah, alchemy. You know, Analysis, Deconstruction, and Reconstruction." Ed face-palmed.

"Right, I think I remember now."

"Good to know. Because if you're gonna be here for awhile, it might be the only thing you have to survive out here. You two might rise intrest with the homuncoli."

"Homuncoli?" both The Doctor and Amy asked at the same time.

"Yes, homuncoli are created after someone tries to bring someone back using human tranmutation. They're like living dolls, except they're harder to break. They have philosopher's stones for hearts, and as long as the heart is withen reach, they live." Edward explianed, beginning to sweep up the mess the spaceship thingy had made.

Roy's eye twitched as he slowly walked out of the room, probulbly to tell someone about the absurd event. _Geez! Telephone booths falling out of the sky?_ He must've stayed up too late the previous night. Or he's losing his mind due to paperwork.

All he knew was that what he'd just seen was in no way possible. Not even under the influence of psilocybe mushrooms. Just no. Uh-uh.

"So...Back to my first question...Where and when am I?" The Doctor repeated, focusing in on Ed. "Also, why didn't you introduce yourself and your angry friend? Or is it not in your culture to do introductions?"

"Uhm...Edward Elric, FullMetal Alchemist," Ed said, cautiously extending his hand. "And my 'angry friend' is Colonel Roy Mustang, my boss. Also known as the Flame Alchemist," He shuffled his feet for a moment, then decided to open up with, "You're in Amestris, 1913. That answer your question?"

"Quite. At least now I can begin to fix my TARDIS...Oh, you poor thing..." The Doctor muttered. He began to walk slowly around the TARDIS, inspecting her for external damages and finding none.

"You should be saying 'Poor Amy', not 'Poor TARDIS'!" Amy shrilled, punching the Doctor in the arm as she did. "The TARDIS has been through much worse than that little crash! I'm a fragile human! Once I break, you can't just replace my parts!"

"Very sorry, Amy. Are you all right?" It didn't always occur to him to ask, as he often forgot that she wasen't as tough as he was.

Not to say that she was weak, but...Perhaps not as used to being thrown around.

(To Be continued in Chapter Two!)

...

_I hope you all liked this cross-over beginning. If I'm correct, this is the 8th Doctor Who/ FMA crossover EVER. Oh, and my sister has a DevaintArt account, you can visit, not that it's very active or anyrthing. ZelieManette. That's what it's called. Well, till next time, and guess what? I only have TWO days of school left! And then I'll be on more often! How awesome is that?_


End file.
